Introducing...MAD MEN RECAPS!!!!

Hey,

It's been a while since I've posted. Sorry. I have another, more relevant CBA post pending.

Anyway, my favorite TV show, Mad Men, just aired its latest season debut tonight, and I want to write about it! Hopefully, any potential readers from PWT's adventures on Empire Avenue (I stopped playing on that site a while ago) are also fans that might appreciate these posts. If not, well, this is just a way to personally keep track of what is going on in this fourth season. This won't be strong commentary, per se; rather, I'd like this series of posts to establish a running dialog with others.

Mad Men stuff (SPOILER ALERT) after the jump!

Curry

  I attempted to make curry very recently with near success.  I made it twice in two days, which some would say is pretty rough on the colon.  Let me just confirm that.  

  The first attempt involved tofu.  Now let me explain tofu to those who have never really experienced it fully.  It's like nothing-flavored gelatin.  I had foolishly purchased the firm tofu, expecting it to be (you guessed it) firm!  It was nothing of the sort.  It was shakier than a parkinson's patient going through heroin withdrawels trying to get a thread through the head of a needle.  Needless to say the texture was less than satisfying.  "Why is this called firm tofu?",  I asked myself.  Well there is extra firm tofu, which apparently is actually firm.  So the scale of tofu goes:  Soft, Firm, and Extra Firm.  What ever happened to medium?

The next funnest part of cooking curry was the coconut milk.  Fuck coconut milk.  Seriously.  When it says on the can that it seperates it doesn't go into detail how there is a pure liquid underneath a solid inch of white clay.  Mixing the coconut milk back into a viscocity worthy of curry took a lot of churning and quite a bit of spilling all over the fucking place because I'm mixing coconut clay with coconut water in a tiny god damned can.

Once that was figured out it was mostly smooth sailing.  Until I ate it.  The tofu was absolutely awful.  It was like eating ass fat.  That's exactly the texture than I imagined it would be most like.  It crumbled needlessly into smaller and smaller bits until all it was just soup in my mouth.  I also bit down on a huge chunk of chutney, which was pretty awful.  They don't tell you that the chunks of fruit don't taste nearly as good as the rest of it.

Overall my first attempt was sub-par, but my second attempt was much better.  I'm unskilled at cooking meat currently, so I didn't put any meat in.  Next time will see the introduction of some poultry, and more coconut milk for a thicker sauce.

This has been Plain White T with Cooking with CBA

Me too!

I am on Empire Avenue as well!


EAVB_SHAIMZVPCG

Holla atcho boy!

-Wonderbread

Empire Avenue

EAVB_GHDUPEDCHD

That's the code that the online social networking/virtual stock market site has asked me to place into a blog post to verify that I own this mother.

I've been pretty anxious to get in on this game.  I've been waiting a while indeed to be accepted into the beta, so I'm excited to start trading people... moreso than I do now.

The Destruction of the United States of America

On Friday, March 19, 2010, the United States House of Representatives passed a bill bringing unprecedented change to American healthcare by extending basic health coverage to more Americans than ever before; in a sense, establishing the foundation of a citizen's right to access basic health services without fear, obstruction, or discrimination. This has made many, many Americans happy.  Almost as happy as my dog, Steve:

As you can see, Steve suffers from a pre-existing condition known as toocutetobootitis, or, in layman's terms, "OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPY!!!!!!!!!"  As a result, Steve has never been able to get insurance, and he has lived in constant fear of the strong stroke of a child sending him to the emergency room.  He used to tell me all the time, "WonderBread, I demand universal healthcare for dogs! I need to be covered! I am far too precious to go to Mexico for a basement operation by a damn chimicanguahah!"(Sorry, my dog's a racist)  If you were curious what a chihuahua surgeon might like, here is a guy I met in Tijuana who claims to be a doctor:

 
Now, I don't blame Steve for not wanting to have that guy perform surgery on him.  In fact, he's probably the last thing I'd want touching me with a scalpel, and trust me, there are plenty of things I want touching me with a scalpel (Hello, Scarlett Johansson!).  Unfortunately for Steve (and those other happy Americans), our politicians proved myopic once again.  In no way can this health care reform--let's call it Socialism--sustain this great nation.  It isn't just a violation of your Constitutional rights. It isn't just an unfeasible financial burden.  No, this bill is much more than that.  It is doomsday. Revelations. FUCKING ARMAGEDDON!

You see, friends, this healthcare bill is just the first in a chain of coming travesties.  Sure, it might seem fine at the moment; however, it will soon be summer.  Children will be playing, mother's making lemonade, father's mowing the lawn.  All of these activities take place outside.  Do you know what else takes place outside? Yeah, you guessed it: Skunk stink bombs!  Eventually, a boy and his dog will lose the tennis ball they were playing catch with, and the dog will go sniffing around in the bushes (hehe) for the ball.  Let's call this dog, I don't know, Rackba Bamao. Rackba Bamao will stumble upon a skunk, and that skunk will spray him.  Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. The boy would simply give Rackba Bamao a tomato juice bath, and that will be that.  Unfortunately, the family of the boy is too poor from being forced into purchasing health insurance and cannot afford the tomato juice.  Sick of being stinky, Rackba Bamao does not take the matter lightly:

Soon, permanent skunk smell is stuck on many, many dogs with owners too poor for the insurance.  As a charismatic little pup, Rackba Bamao organizes these dogs into a liberating force aimed at destroying the recent legislation.  Since they are only dogs, they don't know how to do this legally, so they decide to take up arms:

Suddenly, the human race is fucked.  Dogs with guns? We don't stand a chance! Fortunately, we have a little help from our friends/enemy of the dog, the cat:

But it is of no use. The dogs are simply too powerful for the cat-human team, largely because cats are way too fucking crazy to be trusted with weapons (there are many friendly casualties in this affair).  The dogs rule the world. Humans are done, and its all thanks to our new healthcare bill.

Thank, Democrats.

-Wonderbread

Armageddon

Armageddon by Plain White T

Super Bowl Diary

Hey,

As promised, here is a recreation of the hand-written journal I kept yesterday. It alright, but I wish I had written a little more down. By the 4th quarter, I had pretty much lost all interest in writing about the game.  Predictably, my handwriting was chicken-scratch after half-time, and I managed to get wing sauce all over the paper, a copy of Sports Illustrated, shorts, and my leg.  It doesn't stop there, either; right before I went to bed, I started to eat pie straight from the pan with my hand. I was disgusted.

Anyway, here is the journal.